Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
