Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
