So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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