Operation Purity has been aborted
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
