I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
