it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Sorry about my life...
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
