i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Randomize
