his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
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