how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Randomize
