What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
