ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
