My nipple is on Facebook.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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