Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
