i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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