I want to stick my p in your. b.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
