wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Randomize
