just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
