just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
