the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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