Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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