im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Randomize
