In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Randomize
