Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
