I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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