If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
