yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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