he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
