i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Randomize
