he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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