I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
