Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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