I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
