so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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