I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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