There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Randomize
