my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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