We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Randomize
