Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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