I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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