Nicole vs. Life
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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