my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
