That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Randomize
