We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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