my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
We were destined to go to rehab together
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
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