Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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