I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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