K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
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