I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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