ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
