Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
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