if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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