what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
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