he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Randomize
