either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Vodka?
Forever.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
